Lying
fosters helplessness, transfers blame and sullies all forms of intimacy. For
the fearful, self-doubting types of this world, lying creates the illusion of
strength, control and power. Lying disguises weakness. I need to clarify here
that I am referring to lies in terms of emotions, true feelings that are felt
within the heart.
We
all, from time-to-time, react from fear. Vulnerability is a very human trait
and often triggers intense reactions. However, it is also our best pathway to
honesty, sensitivity and lasting intimacy. When we love, we are always
vulnerable. And that's the way it is. It takes courage to be in a relationship
and it takes a lot of hard work and this is where sometimes the fear sets in.
Some are so afraid of losing the good thing they have and this is possibly due
to something that happened to them in their past or during childhood. For some
reason they were abandoned by someone important in their lives and are afraid
to have to endure that experience again and this results in them fleeing from
the relationship for fear of abandonment. This however is not going to resolve
abandonment issues. Other’s again are afraid of committing to a relationship
for fear of losing their freedom altogether. Then there are other’s who believe in perfect love, and they are
devoting all their energies to achieving it. They however need to be careful of
setting their hopes too high, though. By searching for the ideal person, they
sometimes ignore the one who could make them truly happy.
In the end no relationship
will ever be flawless so the goal is to get as close to perfect as you possibly
can. All relationships have their ups and downs. When things go downhill we
need to take note of why that happened and learn from it. If the couple parted,
hopefully with the lesson learnt, there will be an opportunity to resurrect the
relationship. These days people are too quick to walk away, or otherwise, as
mentioned above, for some strange reason they do not want to admit to what they
truly feel in their hearts. They do not want to admit it to themselves, to
their friends or even the person they had the relationship with as they view
this as a sign of weakness. Some are even to scared to resurrect a relationship
because they also view this as a sign of weakness but in reality this is just a
sign of being stubborn. They are unable
to admit that they truly love their partner. I will go back to this again
later. Right now I want to go back to the lessons learnt. The universe gives us
these times to clean things up in our lives; it reminds us not to make the same
mistakes over again. During difficult times or separation from a partner, there
can be an element of victimization and feelings of frustration or anger and
hurt. Take this time and go within and see where the issue is that can be
resolved, if possible. All of this may be part of a wake-up call and there can
be sudden, unexpected insights or information which can bring the potential for
healing. If you are able to sit and
discuss issues with your partner, then do so. Perhaps this issue has to do with
one partner’s patterns and habits. Maybe
someone close is ready to change, or
may be feeling exhausted with their old patterns and habits. Allow all such
observations to be fully expressed. Listen to what your partner is saying. Maybe
you’re asking too much – by wanting to have constant reassurance? Try to be
less demanding. That way you’ll avoid one potential source of conflict. The romantic
in you is predominant. Feel the chemistry between you and your lover. Let it
fester and then grab a hold of it. Be creative, play games, get crazy and fall
in love once again. Less focus on the flaws of your relationship and more
focus on the “big picture” keeps romance lively and stimulating. If you feel antsy about a commitment, give it
all you have. If you’ve been holding a grudge or punishing someone who wronged
you, stop drinking the poison of resentment. Forgive and move on with the
relationship. Bury the hatchet for good and begin a fresh chapter in which you
never discuss whatever the subject was again.
I now go back to what I
said above: In this day and age people
are too quick to walk away, or otherwise, for some strange reason they do not
want to admit to what they truly feel in their hearts. They do not want to
admit it to themselves, to their friends or even the person they had the
relationship with as they view this as a sign of weakness. I would personally
have to say that that is possibly the main reason why there are so many single
people out there. If you know what is in your heart to be true then do not be
afraid to admit it. This is the most crucial factor to the beginning of
happiness. This factor makes you powerful because you are able to reclaim lost innocence, you can forgive past
transgressions or return to a more intimate, trusting stage in a vital
relationship. Let the mistruths of the past fade. It's time for acceptance.
There is great benefit to
energizing the ideal relationship for it will always have you working toward a
better connection. You know you'll have
to shoulder extra responsibilities to make all the components of a completed
union come together. But it’s a small price to pay for something so special.
Don’t be fooled, listen to your heart. Don’t become one of those statistics – I
recently heard of a couple that found each other again after sixty years!! Had
they each admitted to what was in their hearts from the start they would not
have wasted sixty years!! The moon and the stars invoke emotions…the moon and the
stars have never lied to me…not even once…why should we then lie to ourselves
or other’s about what we really feel for someone special? Why should it be seen
as a weakness? You don’t want to end up being in your eighties and wonder “what
if…” At the end of the day if you can experience true love and happiness then
why not grab it with both hands and give it all you’ve got.
