My Sad Christmas Song

...My True Love Aint here...

It Is Christmas 2015

Where does time go? Another year just about to end! Crazy how it is a race against time to get everything organised for Christmas. So many things to be done. BUT, they are all self imposed things. That is just how things are in this family. I guess it all goes back to the days we were children and we watched how our Mother raced around to get things done. Those "things" were passed on to us. So there I am doing the things that my Mother used to do. The house needs to be super clean. Every little nook and cranny vacuumed and dusted. Then there is the garden. I do not have a very big garden but still it is quite energy sapping when I begin to trim the edges with the weed eater, especially when there is one of our famous heat waves! 36 Deg C!!! Who in their right mind does gardening in a heat wave? Hahaha...clearly I am not in my right mind...teeheehee. Then next after the edges are trimmed, the lawn gets mowed. After that I find myself on hands and knees weeding the weeds out the lawn and flower bed. And then finally I have the saw and clippers and all the shrubs and trees get a good trimming!! Then there is the baking to be done. Christmas just is not the same without my Mom's Christmas biscuits - so, two days are spent in the kitchen...again let me tell you...not a pleasant place to be in a heat wave! BUT...the baking has to be done. The Christmas tree needs to be decorated and finally last on the list...ofcourse, the Christmas gifts need to be bought, so off to the Mall I go.  By the time I have done my whole ritual my feet are aching, my back is sore and I am drained! Then Christmas Eve arrives and all the baking and gifts get packed in the car and off I go to my sister Angie. The Christmas biscuits and sweets and nuts get distributed out into the Christmas platters and the last touches are done to finish off the cooking of the Gammon, roast potatoes, rice, broccoli and cheese bake, butternut and salad and desert. We all lend a hand where needed - my sisters, Angie and Rita, my niece, Julie. This year was a really nice Christmas Eve. This year my nephew Donovan, his wife Julie and their kids, Chase and Hayden joined us. They usually go to Julie's parents in the Drakensberg for Christmas but this year they spent it with us. My little niece Jamie, went to her father for Christmas. Such a pity, it would have been super if she were there too, but, that is one of those things when there is a parent involved from a previous marriage. Sadly my sister Karin and her husband Werner and my nephews Martin and Stefan were not able to join us again. They are in Cape Town. And then finally Christmas day arrives. A glorious day where I can chill with my feet up, my nose in a good book and thinking over the year gone by. Thinking and missing those who cannot be with me on Christmas day. So, to end off on this beautiful, cool (yes, cool - we have finally had some rain and the sky is grey) day, I wish you all a FAB-ulous festive season.

This Is South Africa

https://vimeo.com/131669879

Do You Remember...I Remember

Do you remember when I told you not to be alarmed if a fat man climbs through your bedroom window and kidnaps you. It's just Santa coming for you as I had told him I want you for Christmas...I do.  Do you remember when I got you to listen to the song "Collide"? I do. Do you remember what signs I asked you to look out for? I do. Do you remember when you got me to listen to the song "Lady In Red"? I do. I remember how special it made me feel. I remember the feeling of how my heart expanded with this enormous amount of love for you. I thought my heart would burst with happiness. Do you remember what I was wearing when you played that song? I do. Do you remember how exciting it was to wake up each new day just to discover what message I had left you? Do you remember that other hilarious song you made me listen to - "Mi aguita amarilla". I laughed so much the tears were running down my face. I still laugh every now and then when I wash the dishes as inevitably it will remind of that song. Do you remember how hard you were studying for exams? I do. Do you remember that photo of you wearing your purple t-shirt with Gato sitting on your chest? That was my favourite photo. I had it in a frame on my bedside table. The day my world fell apart, so did we. The day I found that we were no more I took that photo and ripped it into a thousand little pieces. I was so angry. So angry that all that I had worked for in terms of work was ripped away from me and at the same time the person that I loved the most was also gone from my life. But, ripping that photo into a thousand little pieces did me no good. That photo was imprinted in my mind and my heart. Today I am so grateful for that because today, when I picture that photo it brings a huge smile to my face. It reminds me of the most happiest time in my life. My time with you. I had a lot of anger, sadness and bitterness to work through afterwards. The day you left my life was like a divorce for me. My actual divorce was never as painful to me, perhaps because I was the one that left the marriage or perhaps it was because it brought me so much relief to get out of that marriage as it certainly was not a happy one. I had so much pain and anger and sadness in me when you left my life it actually made me ill. Do you know that it is a fact that 90% of women that get divorced end up with breast cancer? But that is all in the past. I think my journey forward has made me a better person and a much stronger person. No. In fact I know it has. I look at the world through different eyes. I treasure the time we had and I am grateful that I had the privilege of having you in my life. I gave you a hard time some times and I apologise for that. I know you really did love me. All of what you did proved that to me. You were the most romantic guy ever!! When I reflect back on past relationships I cannot even think of not one happy moment when I think of the others. How can I when the bad overshadows each and every one of them? My ex husband used me as a punching bag when he got drunk. I had two other relationships where I had a gun held to my head!! The one told me that he would shoot me if I left him. His brother-in-law came to my rescue. The other came and grabbed me out of my bed in the early hours of a morning, held a gun to my head and said I must keep quiet and go with him otherwise he will shoot my son, who at that time was 4 years old and sleeping in his room. This guy took me to his car and drove me to a cemetary/grave yard. Made me get out of the car and left me there. I had to walk back to my apartment in my Pyjama shirt, panties and barefoot! I was frantic to get back to my son. I had no idea what this idiot was going to do. All I knew was that my son was alone at home, still sleeping. I have no idea how far I walked, but I made it back by around 04:00am and I think it was around 01:30am when he grabbed me out of bed. Oh, and the reason he did this was because I was not at home when he called earlier that evening!!! The next day I had a restraining order filed against him and changed the locks on my door. He still had the nerve to try and come back but my friend, who lived opposite me was thankfully a police woman and she arrested him when I called out for help. Gosh, the things that I have been through. I can just shake my head in amazement. Getting back to you and me. Do you now see why I say my time with you was the happiest time of my life? You always put a smile on my face and I thank you for that. Thank you for loving me the way I deserved to be loved. You are always in my heart. I remember all the good things! A love that I will treasure!! I found that funny song as below but I could not find the animated version...have a good laugh mi gaupo...because I am :D

If I Lose Myself...

The Satchel

For many of us there is still some sadness of things we had to say goodbye to, either a relationship, moving, moving to a new geographical area, some of us have had a parent cross, or even both parents, or a close friend. Some of us have had to place parents into facilities. For some of us there have been such huge changes in our lives that there is a deep sadness, or melancholy that goes along with us. It's like we are moving through the streets of a big city with this gaiety and happiness, but then we carry a satchel or a suitcase or a brief case filled with these sad memories, these sad places, these sad occasions that we have had over the past years that have left us feeling somewhat baffled, some of us confused and some of us feeling on a low plane in terms of self-worth. Even though we have this satchel of sadness, this suitcase of sadness, this briefcase of sadness, sure, there is some restriction there, some self doubt and some case where we question.  We question life, we question our belief system, we question why we are here, we question why we went through what we did. We question why people treated us the way they did. We question why we couldn't hold something together or why we couldn't break it apart. There are a lot of restrictions in terms of our own self doubt. This is just emotional responses to experiences that have happened in the past. These have caused worry. We have to try and not focus on these areas of our life. We have to try and focus on happiness, try to focus on wonderful, brand new openings, brand new doors that are opening for us. It could be that some of us have the keys to a brand new home, or a brand new office. Some may even have the keys to someone's heart. Some may even get married. The sadness is not there to hold us back. The sadness is a reminder. A reminder to lift us, to have the wisdom to help other's in our path to overcome experiences that we have already dealt with. There will come a time for us when it will be necessary to put the satchel down, to leave the briefcase at the subway, to leave the suitcase right there at the bus depot. There are times we have to cut our losses and run. We just have to say "You know what? I don't know why it is, but it is and I have to move forward". We have to see and believe that there is going to be great positive movement in at least one  aspect of our life. Many of us will feel it in multiple aspects of our lives. We have Christmas celebration coming up for most.  If not Christmas it will be a celebration of another kind. It is a time for friends, family and family get together's. There are some people who are experiencing family frictions or frictions within a relationship. Perhaps its time for resolution. Time to resolve those frictions. There are many of us who are dealing with long term issues that have been bearing down on us, whether they are broken friendships, broken relationships with family members or with partners. Christmas is a perfect time for healing any one of these issues.  Christmas is meant to be a joyous time. This is a time when we can look forward to many things. It is a time where we can move forward with positive energy into January and beyond. Many of us have paid our dues. We can only go so high as we have been low. Christmas is a time to reach out and make amends.

If its time to put that satchel down, do it. If you need to hang on to it a little bit longer, that's fine, but get the support you need. Resolve these emotional issues as soon as possible so that you can begin to enjoy all the positive situations that arise in your life on the heels of the situations and the circumstances that have been plaguing you for many months in a negative or a challenging way.

Trying Too Hard

When we try too hard to understand others, we can end up becoming confused. "Why did she do that?" "Why did he say this?" "What was the real meaning of this development?" "Have I failed to understand something about that event?" Such questions can drive us round in circles. We try and read between the lines. We over analyse. The questions may never bring forth answers that make true sense. We are far better off living in the moment and relating spontaneously to those who matter most. Take it all as it is said in that moment, because that is where the truth is. This makes life so much easier and less stressful.

Nou Gaan Ons Braai

"Nou gaan ons braai" is Afrikaans for Now we are going to BBQ/braai. This video clip cracks me up with laughter whenever I see it as it is really so true about the Afrikaans people here in South Africa. Barry Hilton is a South African stand up comedian. Referred to by his middle name, Barry (aka ‘The Cousin’). I love this video clip as I can so relate to this! This has happened to me two or three times when I have been invited by some Afrikaans friends for a braai/bbq.  In this clip he imitates the way an Afrikaans person speaks. He obviously exaggerates slightly, but it really is how they speak and it is so true about them loving their Brandy and Coke. An Afrikaans person born in South Africa is commonly known as a "Boertjie" (pronounced Boorky) and when an Afrikaans person asks you if you want a "doppetjie" - that is a drink. You just have to watch this video. It really is hilarious and it paints a very, very good picture of what to expect (in most cases, not all) when you are invited to a braai/bbq by an Afrikaans speaking South African. Man, this is why I love South Africa!! :D

Cry For My Beloved Country

How the world sees us: Tim Knight – SA’s slide from Madiba to Zuma. Oh Boy.

You cannot fail to be moved by this powerful article written for The Canadian by top global journalist and Emmy winner Tim Knight. As a young man, Knight covered the hottest spots in South Africa, including the Sharpeville massacre and left because he had to, believing a race war was inevitable.
Last year Knight returned to live in Cape Town and fears almost as much for the South Africa he now witnesses first hand. A country he believes is under the jackboot of a corrupt dictator who uses democracy to forward his own sociopathic ends.
The nation can once again avoid a seemingly inevitable fate, says Knight, but first Jacob Zuma has to go. The sooner the better. – Alec Hogg
By Tim Knight

It’s been two-and-a-half years since Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela died. And every month that goes by moves South Africa further away from the democratic dream for which he lived.

The dream isn’t quite over yet. But you can sense, feel, smell, ominous signals that Madiba’s beloved country is turning into yet another African plutocratic kleptocracy, ruled by yet another noxious Big Man.

President Jacob Zuma, the wily, self-educated Struggle veteran, seems to believe South Africa is his personal fiefdom — its rapidly dwindling wealth at his personal disposal, to spend as he wishes.

L’état, c’est moi.

Zuma’s grasp of democracy extends no further than winning relatively clean general elections, firmly guaranteed under the nation’s admirably iron-clad Constitution.

Once the election formality is out of the way, however, he spends his time and energy trying to subvert that same Constitution to the huge advantage of himself and the ANC party he leads.
In his spare time he jets around the world attending lavish conferences, inspecting guards of honour, and cozying with such democratic luminaries as Sudan’s president Omar al-Bashir, wanted by the International Criminal Court for genocide and war crimes in Darfur.

His new BFF is Russia’s Vladimir Putin, who’s trying to sell him obscenely expensive nuclear power plants.
Critics say Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma is a devious, manipulative politician who steals from the poor to give to himself, his family, and his cronies. A despot who takes every possible advantage of the naive, trusting, democratic side of savage capitalism.

He surrounds himself with corrupt, sycophantic incompetents who exist for no other reason than to serve and protect him. These coarse and fawning courtiers live for his smiles, dread his frowns, and — in exchange for their honour, their dignity and their very souls — live spectacularly comfortably off the leftovers from his ample table.

Zuma ranks high up there in the lengthy, ignoble pantheon of Africa’s notoriously corrupt and autocratic Big Men.

You want evidence? Check the Internet and find some 4,000 references under the heading “Charges Against Jacob Zuma.” Among them, corruption, bribery, racketeering, fraud, money-laundering and rape.
So far, protected by his high office and using every possible political and legal loophole, he’s managed to stay safely and comfortably in his lavish state residences — and out of jail.
A sick symbol of the corruption rotting away at the presidency, the ANC government and the South African public service is Nkandla, Zuma’s private home in KwaZulu-Natal.

It started out relatively modestly as Zuma’s own personal house. Then, after his election as president, someone in government decided it needed “security upgrades” appropriate to his position.

The estimate then was that South Africans would have to pay around R27m for the upgrades. Since then the house has morphed into a compound and costs have soared to R248m.

That’s an astounding 914% increase in only six years.

But wait, there’s more. The government says additional millions of public money are still needed to fix Nkandla’s shoddy workmanship and increase security.

And Zuma’s comfort.

Read also: It’s official – Zuma the highest paid, worst value-for-money President in the world

South Africa’s Public Protector, Thuli Madonsela, is hugely respected as a rare example of public service integrity. She’s ruled that Zuma “unduly benefitted” from improvements to his house. He should therefore pay back at least some of the money.

The leader of the opposition Democratic Alliance party, Mmusi Maimane, sums it up:

“The only plausible assumption is that President Zuma misused the power of his office to expand the scope of the project for his personal benefit.”

Zuma himself has simply refused to pay for any of the “security upgrades” to his private home. Not the underground bunker. Not the air conditioning. Not the cattle kraal. Not the chicken run.

And certainly not the swimming pool which flunkies claim is actually a “fire pool” — sitting there ready to provide water if the presidential mansion should catch fire.

All these problems may not be entirely Zuma’s fault, however.

He has an excellent excuse.

It’s just possible that Jacob Zuma could be a sociopath.

Definitions of sociopathy fit remarkably well with his behaviour.
Sociopaths are variously described as intelligent and charming. But also as manipulative, cunning, narcissistic, grandiose, antisocial, habitual liars, amoral and lacking any sense of moral responsibility, social conscience or remorse.

I’m a mere journalist and no psychiatrist. But in the course of my long journalistic career I’ve met lots of Big Men, including seven presidents and three prime ministers.

So I know something about people and power, and how people are seduced and how power corrupts.
Consider, if you will, Zuma’s recent speech to the ANC in KwaZulu-Natal:

“… And I argued one time with somebody who said that the country comes first, and I said as much as I understand that, I think my organisation, the ANC, comes first.”

Then there was his speech last year glorifying his wholly-owned ANC party as a religion:

“God expects us to rule this country because we are the only organisation which was blessed by pastors when it was formed. It is even blessed in Heaven. That is why we will rule until Jesus comes back.
“Those that stand in opposition to me or my party are evil and must be opposed; for they stand not only in opposition to us but in opposition to

God, who has appointed and blessed us as his representatives here on earth.

“Thus, my party will remain in power forever and it will not subscribe to the will of mortal men, because it rules by divine right and, therefore, until the end of time and at God’s grace.

“Nevertheless, those who would oppose me or my party cannot be allowed to govern, irrespective of the broader democratic will, and we must stand together to prevent this from happening.”

If it quacks like a duck …

Some famous people labelled as sociopaths (some were certainly psychopaths) include Steve Jobs, Robert Mugabe, Mark Zuckerberg, Sepp Blatter, Idi Amin, François Duvalier, Bernie Madoff, Teddy Roosevelt and Vladimir Putin.

Then there’s Henry Vlll, Sherlock Holmes, Othello and at least one of my bosses over the years.

The saddest thing about South Africa today is that there’s a growing resemblance between today’s ruling once-noble ANC and its predecessor, the National Party which invented apartheid to perpetuate white supremacy and make people of colour third-class citizens.
Today, the same words are frequently used to describe both — undemocratic, totalitarian, tribal, corrupt, crony-ridden, immoral, incompetent, coercive etc. etc. etc.

This nation, once ruled by the fascist, racist, secret society called the Broederbond, is being taken over by a remarkably similar secret society, the ANC.

The party dictates policy and action to both the bloated civil service — itself riddled with nepotism and falsified résumés — and members of the ANC majority in parliament, widely derided as “trained seals”.

Jobs for pals, many of whom are demonstrably incompetent, is so blatant that serving or working in the government has become a national sick joke. Much like the old jest about the scariest words you’ll ever hear: “We’re from the government … and we’re here to help.”

It’s got so bad that it’s now news when an ANC minister or department head isn’t scorned as corrupt, incompetent, and unworthy of high office.

There are however (thank whatever gods may be) exceptions to the rot. Up there with Public Protector, Thuli Madonsela, stands Auditor-General, Kimi Makwetu.

His audits of national and provincial governments (as well as other public bodies) are widely respected. So when his latest report reveals more than half of the departments he examined submit annual performance results with “material misstatements” he’s believed.

The worst government offenders, Makwetu charges, are the departments in charge of the most essential public services — health, education, human settlements and public works. All have “largely failed the audit test”.

Which likely means that ever more billions of rand — supposed to support hospitals, clinics and schools, clean up the country’s appalling slums, and keep water running, lights burning and roads unpotholed — simply disappears into the pockets of the powerful and corrupt.
And yet, even with all these problems, South Africa still isn’t Zimbabwe, Pakistan or Afghanistan.

That’s mostly because of the country’s 1997 Constitution — the supreme law of the land — which is widely regarded as one of the strongest and most democratic in all the world. Written into it are robust barriers against abuse of power by politicians.
It can only be amended with the support of 75% of the members of the National Assembly. Fortunately though, Zuma’s ANC boasts just 60% percent of MPs. And most pollsters report support for the party is slipping.

At the same time, parliamentary opposition is loud and lively.
Noisiest is the new, semi-Marxist-Leninist, Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF), led by the charismatic, clownish but dangerously clever Julius Malema. The EFF won more than 6% of the votes in last year’s election. It appeals mostly to the more than 50% unemployed and angry youth in the country.

Much more mainstream is the official opposition Democratic Alliance, which won a little over 23% of the votes in that same election. It’s new leader, Mmusi Maimane, is only 35. He holds Masters degrees in theology and public administration, so presumably knows something about both God and and his fellow man.

Maimane’s got guts. Consider his brutal attack on Zuma in the National Assembly earlier this year:

“You, Honourable President, are not an honourable man. You are a broken man, presiding over a broken society … You laughed while trampling Madiba’s legacy – in the very week that we celebrated 25 years since his release … We will never forgive you for what you have done.”

The South Africa I left fifty-four years ago was a country without hope, surely destined to destroy itself in savage race war.

Today, it’s battered, bruised, angry, and rapidly losing confidence in itself.

But it’s the same South Africa that, because of its people’s resilience, patience, determination and willpower — with almost no bloodshed —  eventually defeated the evil that was apartheid.

I’m convinced that the people of South Africa will eventually win this battle too.

But first, Jacob Zuma has to go.

So Madiba can rest in peace.

*Tim Knight is author of Storytelling and the Anima Factor now in its second edition at Amazon and Lulu.com. In the late 1950s, hw was a very young reporter on the Johannesburg Sunday Express. He was the only white journalist to get through police and army lines to report on the funeral of sixty-nine unarmed demonstrators massacred by police at Sharpeville. His story — and others about the evil that was apartheid, including virtual slavery on potato farms – eventually made it necessary for him to leave South Africa. He moved to the Congo (two wars in three years) and the United States where he worked for ABC, NBC and PBS and won broadcasting’s highest honour, the Emmy. From there to Canada. For ten years he was lead trainer for all the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation’s TV journalists. Last year, he returned to South Africa and now lives and writes in Cape Town. 

Blinded By Loyalty

Someone holds you in high regard. Are they right to feel such admiration? Someone else, it seems, looks upon you disapprovingly. Is their opinion ill-informed? While we are assessing the relative merits of other people's ideas, we might also pause to assess the validity of some of your own preferences and prejudices. Are you sure that you are supporting the right team and that those with whom you are finding fault, deserve all that criticism? Be led by loyalty by all means but don't be blinded by it.

Hold On To My Heart

Do You Believe In Angels?

My spiritual path began in the late 2000’s. It was however around 2006, when I realised that we are constantly graced with meaningful signs, not mere coincidences, through our relationships, nature, numbers, events, basically all things this world is made up of.  

Heavenly angels, often referred to as guardian angels, are mentioned numerous times in the Scriptures. Therein we learn that angels are spiritual beings created by God to serve him, and sent by God to watch over the human race, to deliver his message, to guard and protect us from danger, to do battle with other spiritual beings on our behalf.

Since the beginning of time, angels have delivered God's messages to mankind. Sometimes the messages are warnings of impending danger, sometimes instructions as to what to do in a particular situation, sometimes they are simply "there" as protection from enemy forces. Sometimes they bring joyful announcements as in the day they announced the birth of Jesus. Please do not get me wrong here. I am not here to preach Religion to anyone. I believe each and every one of us has a choice as to what we believe in. I am merely writing here about my own Spiritual journey for those who might be interested in it.

My awareness of these mysterious forces that guide, validate, and help us live our lives has increased phenomenally over time. The more I became aware that there are Angels, Archangels, Guardian Angels, Spirit Guides and Ascended Masters who guide us every day, the more I asked for signs and help from the Universe, the more I started noticing synchronicities. I will never forget the day I asked for a sign and that day I happened to open up my diary to make notes and there, in the centre of the page was a feather!! I had never taken my diary outside. It was a permanent fixture on my office desk! That was the first really awesome experience I had. Over time I had many unexplainable situations happen. Another occasion I opened up my purse to tip the car guard who had been watching my car, and there, once again a feather flew out of my purse! On another occasion I had just woken up in the morning and went to the kitchen to put the kettle on, and there on top of the kettle there was a feather! How it got there I do not know as my kitchen window is always closed at night. Synchronicity is a strange but beautiful thing. Oh and by the way, I do NOT believe in coincidence!!!

I eventually took up meditation and yoga practice as I had heard that if your energies are all blocked up, you will not notice your angels as much. Also, if you want to hear guidance from your Angels you have to be able to silence your mind. If your mind is racing with all kinds of thoughts, worries and if your body, mind and soul is filled with stress and anxiety, well, you will not hear your angels either. You will also not notice the signs around you. You have to be in complete vibration with the Universe to really connect. As long as you feel good about yourself and you are happy, and things make you feel good, it's important to stay in a good vibration. Over the last three years I have made meditation a priority in my life and I alternate my yoga with my fitness workouts. I have now gotten to the point where I am able to receive guidance from my Angels, when I ask them. It takes a while for me to hear them but how I know I am going to get an answer is if I am sitting really quiet and empty my mind of all thoughts, I will get this high pitched ringing in my ears and then I will hear them. The Angels will also get a message through to you with songs. If you hear a song over and over again. They are trying to get your attention. Or perhaps you are thinking and pondering over something in your life and you are not sure what to do and then while you are watching some or other Television program or story, someone will say something and it will be like the answer you were looking for. It’s when these things happen that you have to really start taking notice.

Another way they try and get your attention is by numbers. I think, at first, the numbers are simply a way of getting your attention. I never used to pay attention to them until I started seeing patterns repeatedly. That made me start to wonder if it was intentional and it was after that, that the meanings behind the numbers began to resonate with me.

Now when I see a number combination or pattern, I do an internal check to see if it feels as though it was a communication and if it was, I make note in my journal and look it up at the end of the day. It almost always is relevant to however I was feeling that day or relevant to the question I needed an answer to. I think the best is to go with your instinct. If you think they mean something, then they mean something. If you think they are related to one of your desires, then they are related.

I see angel numbers on license plates around me...it's been a week that I've been seeing numbers every day as well as having numbers brought to me in my dreams!

The numbers I see are: 111, 222, 333, 444, 555 and combinations of 1s, 2s, 3s, 4s and 5s. 8s and 9s; and 0s.

I've checked some sites and they say that 8s and 9s point to endings...also read 8s symbolise karma and how the "fruits are ripe" and it's time to reap the rewards for your hard work.

I check the number meanings on sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com/ and www.sunsigns.org/angel-number-333-meaning/ or I just google angel number ??? (and then whatever the number is). As an example, here is what I got for a number I saw repeatedly. The number was 2011. Angel Number 2011 suggests that the new opportunities or directions you take that will lead you towards new and exciting situations and circumstances will enhance your life and that of others. Trust that your angels are by your side and are guiding your every step, encouraging you to remain calm, balanced and happy. Trust that all will work out for your highest good.

I believe there are angels among us! Sometimes we see them and do not even realise it! At other times, we sense their presence. We just know they are there helping us, guiding us, watching over us. Then there are times when we think we desperately need them and they seem to be somewhere else! I felt like that one day. I had just hung the washing up on the wash line outside and sat down on a garden chair. The wind was quite strong that day. I remember I was thinking that it feels like the Angels are not with me anymore. Next thing the wind just died. Like someone had flicked a switch to turn it off. Everything went so quiet. I then looked at the ground and could not believe my eyes. There was a shadow that looked exactly like an Angel! I took a photo. See below. If you cannot see it, look to the most upper shadow to the right. It looks like an Angel with his wings behind him. To me it was like an Angel standing right next to me and his shadow was reflected on the ground. How much more validation could I have asked for?

Monarch Butterfly

I have dabbled enough in spirituality to know that, whenever any animal or insect shows up with strong intent or in a unique way, it’s good to pay attention to the message it brings. To the Native Americans the Butterfly is a symbol of joy. They remind us that life is a dance, not to take things quite so seriously. They also remind us to get up and move. Dance brings the sweetness of life. So, what do Butterflies symbolise and what do we know about them? For those that think I am some kind of “fruit cake”. So be it. This is who I am. I am a nature lover and I believe there is more to life. I came to that conclusion from my experience I had with a very serious health challenge. This is me. Accept me for who I am, or don’t, it is your choice.

I love symbolism in life, it is a way I intuitively operate. I have two necklaces that I wear often. The one is a silver Dragonfly and the other is a blue Butterfly. More often than not I am wearing the Butterfly. My belief is that when a Butterfly flies near you it means that your Angels, Archangels, Spirit Guides and Ascended Masters are near you. Almost on a daily basis I have a white Butterfly around me and now and then I have a Monarch Butterfly around me. I was listening to some encouraging words from someone on Friday and as she said something to me, a Monarch Butterfly had just flown past her window. She said that it was validation of what she was saying to me at that point and that it would do me some good to see what the actual meaning of the Animal Totem would be for a Monarch Butterfly. For those that assume at this point that she is a Psychic – no, she is a motivational speaker that is also very spiritual. Anyway, this whole thing with the Monarch Butterfly reminded me of the last time I went to Mount Amanzi with my sister’s. We went Mountain climbing and on our hike to the Mountain my sister, Angie, suddenly exclaimed that I needed to stop and turn around and look. I was suddenly surrounded by the most beautiful Butterflies. Each and every one completely different to the other. There were black one’s with blue speckles on their wings. There were a few Monarchs. Some white and some yellow Butterflies. They all ranged in different sizes, from large to small. It was such a spectacular sight. I was awestruck!! Anyway, I have gotten carried away. On my research of the Monarch Butterfly, below is some information I found which I really find very interesting.

Keywords:

Life is short. Fleeting moments. Transformation. Internal and external change. Personal change. Looking for sweetness. Herb magic. Flower magic. Celebrating beauty. Travel and migration. Moving to new places. Enjoying the journey. Outside of harmful or negative influence. Rhythm. Reincarnation.

General Description:

The Monarch Butterfly has been present in Australia since the early 1800s. It is a toxic insect, notable for its bright orange, black and white colouration. Now to the colour of the Butterfly. Orange relates to the 2nd Chakra (Sacral), one which I already know has taken a long time to balance within myself through constant meditation. The sacral’s main chakra meanings relate to the feeling of emotions (self-confidence, one’s power), sensuality, security, commitment and honour in relationships and clairsentience or clear feeling. Its energy is needed to create life and to achieve a creative expression that is essentially physical, the spiritual energy is to learn to interact consciously with others, to form unions with people who support our development, and release those that limit growth.

The Monarch Butterfly teaches us that life is short, and that it must be valued. Assuming that we have decades of our lives left, or at the very least, years, is all well and good for things like economic planning, but it is through recognising the fleetingness of human existence that we come to value every day, even those which get us down or which are hard to appreciate.

Monarch Butterfly asks you to consciously look at what you have gained that is valuable in each day, and even to write the things that you are grateful for down. If you are in a position where you can think of nothing to be grateful for, Monarch Butterfly is a guide willing to open your eyes to the beauty and gift of life once more. It is through this that Monarch Butterfly teaches us how to look for sweetness and light in our lives.

Have you ever had one of those moments that felt perfect? Where, despite what was going on in your life, everything seemed to come together in one fleeting moment of contentment, happiness and perfection? Monarch Butterfly teaches us that all of life is made up of striving for and increasing the number of these moments that we experience, and shows us how to better value and focus on these fleeting moments. Do you remember the last time you had one? Where you were when it happened? If you can't remember one, it might be time to seek one out again through looking for enjoyable experiences.

It is time to enjoy the journey and put aside the destination. It's not about where you will be tomorrow or in a year's time. It is about valuing where you are NOW, even if you haven't reached your destination yet. Remember that there is as much wisdom and joy to gain on the way to an imagined or real destination, as there is at the destination itself.

The Monarch Butterfly, despite being feral in Australia, has still managed to avoid many of the negative connotations that other feral animals in Australia take on over time. The Monarch Butterfly in many ways has remained outside of harmful or negative influence, and is a celebrated image of beauty in urban back gardens. If Monarch Butterfly is present as a guide, it may be that you are also outside of harmful or negative influence right now, or that the universe is preparing to give you a bit of a 'break' for a while so that you can celebrate the beauty that exists within your life.

Monarch Butterfly indicates themes of travel and migration, even as much as moving to new places. In Australia, short-term travel is indicated, such as journeys to new places, or even taking new commutes to work or back to your home. In other parts of the world the presence of Monarch Butterfly asks you to genuinely consider whether you are living in the best place right now, or alternatively, if it's worth a change of scenery to get you back in touch with nature and the rhythms of the earth.

You will be helped at this time by the magic possessed in herbs and flowers. It may be through the healing actions of herbs, and consider increasing your use of them in cooking, taking herbal supplements, only if needed and at the direction of a professional, or even just taking the time to enjoy the scent of herbs under your hands. The power of flowers is also present at this time. Consider investing in flower essences, or even making your own. Alternatively, look at and enjoy the presence of flowers in your life. Sometimes just taking the time to look at and visually enjoy the bounty of the earth is enough to create powerful healing changes.

Themes of reincarnation may be present. The Monarch Butterfly introduces us to concepts of reincarnation and, if we are believers, asks us to invest some more time into thinking about our beliefs regarding rebirth and spiritual transformation across lifetimes.

All Butterflies and moths, teach the power of transformation, and their presence in your life can be extremely empowering. They teach people how to proactively seize their own individual opportunities for growth and metamorphosis. At this time, you have great opportunity for phenomenal internal and external changes and transformations. Monarch Butterfly particularly signals a time for personal change and internal change, emphasising changes of perspective and how we perceive our place in the world and our contentment within it.

Butterfly can help you see that exiting the cocoon suddenly opens a new door, that there is power in trust and vulnerability. No more than you does a Butterfly know whether it can fly, but it opens its wings in perfect confidence, and discovers that their delicacy allow its graceful flight, its dance in the air. When we understand that transformation can be as natural as breathing, when we take ourselves lightly, when we trust in our own untried wings to support us, we learn the message of Butterfly, life itself is a joyous dance. Dance brings us the sweetness of life.

The four stages of the Butterflies growth are parallel to the development of our first forming a thought to manifesting it in the outer world. Understanding that change can be as natural as breathing. We mustn’t be so hard on ourselves, trusting that our own untried wings will bear our weight. This is when we receive the Butterflies gift, life itself is extraordinary and amazing. If Butterfly has found you, take note of the most important issues in your life and see what needs to be changed.  And as you go through this process, over and over, learn to accept that each stage is a necessary part of transformation. Butterfly energy will help you not only accept, but actually enjoy the early crawling stage, as you learn new skills and new ways of being. This energy will also help you understand that the chrysalis stage, wrapped in a cocoon with direction unclear, is a necessary state before you can emerge in your full glory. A sudden change could be scary at the beginning but when you realise it for what exactly it is, your perspective will change and as consequence you will do it, too. Sometimes, we just have to change our negative attitude to a positive, everything will be better to assimilate. Don’t be afraid to use your untried wings. Just feel the air and start your flight.

As you finally emerge as a Butterfly, something that will happen to you many times in your lifetime, stretch out your beautiful wings and fly, enjoying life to the fullest, engrossed within this moment and this moment only, as you drink the nectar of the garden and give thanks for the many blessings of your life.

Monarch Butterfly

We Are South Africa - Rugby

As much as I hate living in South Africa, one thing that will never be taken away from me is my love of Rugby. The emotions that engulf me when watching Rugby is indescribable! Especially when it comes to the Springboks. The Patriotism that is brought out amongst ALL South Africans is absolutely palpable. The National Anthem inevitably always brings tears to my eyes...I just cannot help myself, as much as I try not to let the tears come, I just do not win...teeeheeeheee. That's just me. South Africa will always be in my blood. My nerves are so on edge for the semi final game between the Springboks and the All Blacks tomorrow, 24 October 2015. I think I am going to need a triple Gin and Tonic never mind a single! Hahaha...let's see what tomorrow brings...I really do hope it is in the favour of the Boks!!

I'm Gonna Stand By You

Hands, put your empty hands in mine
And scars, show me all the scars you hide
And hey, if your wings are broken
Please take mine so yours can open too
Cause I'm gonna stand by you
Oh, tears make kaleidoscopes in your eyes
And hurt, I know you're hurting, but so am I
And love, if your wings are broken
Borrow mine so yours can open too
Cause I'm gonna stand by you

[Chorus]
Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, cause I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, cause I'm gonna stand by you

Yeah, you're all I never knew I needed
And the heart, sometimes it's unclear why it's beating
And love, if your wings are broken
We can brave through those emotions too
Cause I'm gonna stand by you
Oh, truth, I guess truth is what you believe in
And faith, I think faith is helping to reason
No, no, no, love, if your wings are broken
Borrow mine so yours can open too
Cause I'm gonna stand by you

[Chorus]
Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, cause I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, cause I'm gonna stand by you

[Bridge]
I'll be your eyes 'till yours can shine
I'll be your arms, I'll be your steady satellite
And when you can't rise, well, I'll crawl with you on hands and knees
Cause I...
(I'm gonna stand by you)

[Chorus]
Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through (come on)
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, cause I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, cause I'm gonna stand by you
Love, you're not alone
No, I'm gonna stand by you
(Even if we can't find heaven, heaven, heaven)
I'm gonna stand by you

Consult The Map

There is only one way to reach your destination and that involves setting off on a journey. Consult the map by all means. Make provisions, too. Research various routes and debate their relative levels of effectiveness. But if you want a result, sooner or later, you will have to commit yourself to a particular course of action. This brings you to a point of decision and departure. It may help to keep the following idea in mind. As long as you are being reasonably sensitive and fair in your choices, you can't go wrong.

What I Want Most

What I want most, is to know what you hear in the silence between us. No. What I want most is I want you. I want your sleepy confused look when you wake up. I want to be the warmth that fills the space in your bed. I want to be the sheets your fingers crave at night, the blanket that wraps around you all night. I want to drink tea and coffee and wine with you. I want to listen to music with you. I want to feel your body against mine as we dance and sway gently to our favourite song. I want to talk about everything in the world. I want to discuss with you, to be stubborn and quick-witted with you. I want to kiss you, but only in the most connotative way possible, so that no dictionary definition would stand a chance to describe how your lungs could be filled with the sweetest air possible, and yet you would still be so breathless. I want to have differences between us. I want your flaws. All of them. I want to go into the deepest corners of your mind and never get bored of you. I want to be surprised by the new all the time. I want to look at you like a movie, a living piece of art, always trying to chase what you crave...and capture you. In all the chaos of the stars, in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I want to find you and I want to choose you...only you.

Total Eclipse Of The Moon

I'm Me

Do You Really Know Me

I really have an issue with people who think they know me and that they seem to think they know what is best for me. I am now talking about people in my life who are mere acquaintances. Not my real true friends or my family as they know who I am and they know what I have been through. These acquaintances will come along and say that I should not focus on the past and that I should focus on the here and now. I should enjoy the present and all that can make me happy now. Ummm, excuse me but let me ask you something. What makes you think that I am not happy? What makes you think that I do not find joy in my every day life? How do you even know what REALLY happened in my past? You do not even know what I have going on in my every day life. Let me enlighten you just a tiny little bit. I wake up every morning with a spring in my step and joy in my heart. Why? Because I have another beautiful day to enjoy. Because I was given another chance to see another day! I have my son who is as frigging nutty as what I am. Did you even know that I am a nutter? In this home there is constant laughter and happy bantering. My sisters and my close friends are just as crazy. I always choose to see the positive in any situation. If something should not work out for me as planned I do not view it as negative, I view it as just one door closing and another one will open. I may not come across as mentioned above to mere acquaintances because that is just me. It takes me a while to warm up to people. I tend to come across as shy and reserved at first but I am in fact sussing people out. I choose how to live my life. I do not need anyone to now come along and preach to me about what I should do and should not do. If I choose to walk down memory lane with regards to a relationship that meant the world to me. Then I will do so. It is my choice. If I am not ready to let go. Well, that is my choice too. I am happy with who I am right now. I am happy with my life right now. I have a lot going on in my life right now and it is all good. So, to these acquaintances who seem to think they need to rescue me, I really do not need rescuing. Perhaps the advice they are trying to give me is what they should apply to their own lives.  

Hopeless Romantic

"Photograph"

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin' me closer
'Til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone
Wait for me to come home

Falling In Love

A mature person does not fall in love, he rises in love. The word "fall" is not right. Only immature people fall, they stumble and fall down in love. Somehow they were managing and standing. They cannot manage and they cannot stand - they find a woman and they are gone, they find a man and they are gone. They were always ready to fall on the ground and to crawl. They don't have the backbone, the spine, they don't have that integrity to stand alone. A mature person has the integrity to be alone. When a mature person gives love, they give without any strings attached to it, they simply give. When a mature person gives love, they feel grateful that you have accepted this love, not vice versa. They do not expect you to be thankful for it, no, not at all, they do not even need your thanks. They thank you for accepting their love. When two mature people are in love, one of the greatest paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful phenomena, they are together and yet tremendously alone. They are together so much so that they are almost one. But their oneness doesn't destroy their individuality, in fact it enhances it. They become more individual. Two mature people in love help each other to become more free. There are no politics involved, no diplomacy, no effort to dominate. How can you dominate the person you love? Just think it over. Domination is a sort of hatred, anger, enmity. How can you think of dominating someone that you love? You would love to see the person completely free, independent. You will give them more individuality. That is why I call it the greatest paradox. They are together so much so that they are almost one, but still in that oneness they are individuals. Their individuality is not effaced, they have become more enhanced. The other has enriched them as far as their freedom is concerned. Immature people falling in love destroy each others freedom, create a bondage, make a prison. Mature people in love help each other to be free, they help each to destroy all sorts of bondage. When love flows with freedom, there is beauty. When love flows with dependence, there is ugliness.

Schiller - I miss you

 FAB-ulous!!!

30th Year Class of '85 Reunion

On 21 August 2015 we had our 30 year Class of 1985 reunion. At first I was in two minds on whether I should go or not. I said to Eva (Eva and I have been friends since we were 7 years old) that I probably would not remember or recognise anyone. I was also not one of the “clique”. I basically kept to myself at school. I attended school, as much as I hated it, I of course had no choice but to attend. I played Hockey at school and was Sergeant of the Drill team. Eva eventually twisted my arm and so I went. I can now honestly say that I am glad I went. I think I would have regretted it terribly had I not gone. It was a really awesome day and night! We had to be at the school by 08:00am. We met at the Boys’ residence/hostel for tea. It was so exciting to watch as class mates arrived and then you look and see whether you can remember their name. In the end we all could actually recognise one another quite easily. I am struck by how little everyone has changed. We've all grown up, have a few grey hairs and even some smile/laughter lines, but we're still the same amazing group of people. We had a presentation by the Principal and then an assembly with current students at the school. Our Head Boy of 1985 was requested to give a speech. We then had a tour of the school and it was really super taking a stroll down memory lane. Not very many changes have been made to the school which originated in 1903. We were at the school until 12:30 and from there made our way to the Cradle Stone Shopping Mall where we had a table booked at Doppio Zero. Oh boy, and this is where the fun really began. It was an absolute hoot. Catching up on the crazy things that we did at school. The funny things that happened. And the drinks flowed and flowed. Eventually the 60 strong crowd of classmates started getting less as most left by the late afternoon so by early evening there were about 20 of us left…and the drinks still carried on flowing!! Wow! I do not think I have ever had that much to drink EVER! By the time Eva and I left it was 11:30. I say nothing about my head this morning. Hahaha. What makes this reunion even more special is that even though it was our 30^th year reunion, the majority of classmates have been a part of my life for even longer than that as most of us started school together when we were 6 years old. It really was a very special day and night…another memory to treasure!

From left : Terri, Perla, Shelley, Jo Anne, Mark, Me, Warren, Craig and Marina Kourie.

From left: Jean, George, Eva, Brad and me.

My Girls!! Jo Anne, Nadine, Lynda, Marina, Perla, me and Eva. (Eva, Nadine and Marina and I have been friends since we were 7 years old).

Partying hard!!!! From drinks to shooters!

Oh what a night! Hahahaha

Juanita du Plessis - Engel Van My Hart (OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO)

Juanita du Plessis is my all time favourite Afrikaans singer. The translation of the title is "Angel of my Heart". For those overseas who read my Blog - Afrikaans is the second language here in South Africa. It is very similar to the Dutch spoken in the Netherlands.

Where I Live, Shop And Surrounds

Many of you probably wonder about South Africa and particularly where I live. So, I decided to film some things for you as to where I shop and film some surroundings. Please note I am not a professional at filming. My video clips are very amateur - lol. But, I hope you enjoy them. I did not film the interior of the shopping centres as I did not feel comfortable doing so however, I have elaborated on what can be found at the centres.

Cedar Square Shopping Centre

This shopping centre has close to 70 stores across a range of categories. It is just up the road from my home so I basically buy the bare necessities here like milk and bread. It does however have quite a big range of shops/stores like an Art Gallery, Clicks, Cell phone stores like MTN, Virgin Mobile. Clothing stores like Nicci Boutique, Sempre, Simoni Exclusive, to mention a few. There is a Woolworths Food store and a liquor store, some restaurants like Ciao Baby Cucina, Co.fi, Cubana Latina Cafe, Kauai, Yamazaki Sushi Restaurant, Ocean Basket and Papa Pronto's - my favourite for take out. There is also a movie house. Just to mention a few shops/stores.

Cedar Square Shopping Centre

Design Quarter

For lovers of decor, Design Quarter provides an incredible opportunity for support, advice and one-on-one service from some of South Africa’s most admired decorators and retail outlets. This is where you can feel inspired by the latest trends, styles and design ideas and a magnificent open air plaza where you can relax in a continental environment. Restaurants range from the small and intimate old style tea shop to casual breakfasts, business lunches and elegant dining. To name a few - the Kitchen Bar is indeed supremely versatile in its dining appeal. Mythos captures the idyllic simplicity of the Greek Islands. So much so, that one almost feels inspired to visit the beautiful isles. The restaurant fuses decor and ambiance into contemporary Greek elegance. The result is a truly vibrant, refined and friendly eatery. The food is however the main attraction and then ofcourse there is Primi. It’s a good place for the family and even better for fun get-togethers. Primi caters for the seasoned traveller without forgetting the more conservative customer or the limits of your pocket. Set among timeless minimalist architecture, it’s not just the location that’s impressive but also the special ambience that attracts a creative hub of admen, artists, fusionists and designers.

Driving Home Down William Nicol Drive

I mentioned in the video above the road William Nicol. In the video below I am driving back to Fourways down William Nicol Drive. I mention Monte Casino in this video. 

This is Monte Casino

Generally if I am going to eat out or just meet friends we meet at Monte Casino. There is just so much to do there. Movies, Theatre and a lot of coffee shops and restaurants and bars and ofcourse the actual Casino. I sometimes go there just on my own and just sit and do some people watching. There are so many tourists that visit Monte Casino as well.

Driving to my Home Sweet Home

On the way home I pass Fourways Mall on my right. This is where I do my monthly shopping. I shop at Checkers Hyper. They are so much cheaper than Pick n Pay and also have more variety than Pick n Pay and most products offer 100% value for money. For example the Muesli I buy - I can get a 1,5kg packet of Muesli at the Hyper for R39.99 whereas at Pick n Pay I would only get 1kg for R52.99. I also do my clothes shopping here at the Mall, either at Mr Price, Jet, Edgars, Woolworths, Truworths or Ackermans.

Fourways Mall

My Home Sweet Home is in a security complex. I live in a townhouse. It is a 3x bedroom 2x bathroom unit with a single garage and a small garden. The kitchen is separate from my open plan lounge and dining room. On my blog here there is a video clip of my back garden in the post named Sunday Relaxation.

In this video I comment about the Wheelie bin where I found some socks. For those that do not follow me on FB I will enlighten you to the mystery. A while back I opened my handbag to check if my purse was inside. I do this out of habit every time I go shop. Now I do not have anything else in my handbag except my purse. On this day I notice there is something else in my handbag, so I reach in and pull out a pair of black socks. My socks! For the life of me to this day I have no idea how they got into my handbag. Anyway, about three weeks later I am about to throw my rubbish bag into the wheelie bin but as I do I glance inside, and blow me down with a feather - there lies a pair of socks!! So out of curiosity I reach in and pull them out. They are not mine! I have no idea how they got there or who put them there. The bigger question is - why would someone throw their socks in my bin? Each unit has their own wheelie bin and its not like we all live on top of each other. So the mystery remains unsolved lol.