Sunday, May 13, 2012
Broken Hearted
This is for the broken
hearted. I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You
don't want to laugh, because you know it's not going to help, but you don't
want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart
is falling apart, but not only that, you know soon your life is going to feel
like it's falling apart too. You don't think it will ever end, and no matter
what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them. And
everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much, then why do you still love
them. That's the confusing part, you don't know why, you just do, and the people
who hurt you the most, are normally the ones you love the most. You wonder why they
hurt you, all you did was love them. Then, after a few weeks, you finally feel
a sense of relief, like you're getting happy again, but you know inside that
you're just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, you're back to where
you were, an empty soul and teary eyes. You thought you got over them, but
really, you just stopped showing it. And you can't help but to show it again.
It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one
understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt, no matter who they are,
because it hasn't happened to them. And even if it has, every broken heart is
different. They don't know the true pain you feel and carry each and every day
now, so you learn that basically you are alone with all this. And the feeling
starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because
you know you've had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you're
to the point where you don't care who see's. Because you've spent so many
nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear
of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not
helping any, and it's not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them
in the first place. After about a million tears have been cried, you finally
pull yourself back together and keep going. Your throat starts to clench and
your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back. Everyone says,
"It will be okay…” But you know it won't. And that’s the truth, it won’t.
And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realise that
people are mean. They said the most hurtful things which replay in your mind…over
and over again. You're still hurt, but
you've learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay. So now every
time you think of this person, you know you still love them, and you feel
a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but
for some reason they don't hear it. And then you sit back and wonder how one
person could have caused all of this...and you wonder…if sometimes it's better
to be alone. No one can hurt you that way. Sometimes we must get hurt in order
to grow, we must fail in order to know. We need to remember that life is full of beauty and pain, that the world will break your heart and heal it, over and over, if you let it, and that letting it do both is the only way to live fully, that we are not alone but deeply connected to that which creates and sustains all life. You are still worthy of love and capable of letting love back into your life when you are ready. Sometimes our vision only clears after our eyes are washed away with tears to see the new beginning, the new life in front of us.
Chickens and Eggs
Grab a cuppa - it is thought provoking!
The greatest potential, I have discovered, is almost always overlooked. The troubled child grows up to be the respected leader, the gentle rainfall becomes the mightiest river and, more often than not, the tiniest acorn produces the grandest tree. In hindsight, final circumstances seem so obvious, so important and so very permanent. But how did we miss the beginning?
It's human nature, I suppose, to be mesmerized by the now and see the end as the only meaningful reality. It helps unclutter the mind and, for a brief moment, life is kept simple. But, ultimately, there is a tremendous cost.
Many of us will witness a quick glimpse, for better or worse, of our own future. Long-term relationships, parent/child dynamics and complicated family decisions will most likely be the areas of concern. Some, however, may feel this manifest in the areas of past life knowledge, dramatic romantic changes or the emotional significance of childhood events.
How did this all begin? What is the essential message of this experience? Where is all this going? It is important that we witness the cyclical nature of life's message. And, from a spiritual perspective, it is absolutely vital that we complete the circle.
And so, many of us will unearth a great personal insight and, begin to appreciate the unique relationship between beginnings and endings. The world, or the end result, will soon change and the meaning of those changes, or the original intentions, will first be witnessed on an individual level. People will feel it before the world will see it.
And given the true nature of “chickens and eggs” those changing circumstances may be far more complicated and painful than anticipated. It's important, however, to remember the original intention of creation. Refuse to mistake discomfort for completion. For each chapter that closes, another begins.
The greatest potential, I have discovered, is almost always overlooked. The troubled child grows up to be the respected leader, the gentle rainfall becomes the mightiest river and, more often than not, the tiniest acorn produces the grandest tree. In hindsight, final circumstances seem so obvious, so important and so very permanent. But how did we miss the beginning?
It's human nature, I suppose, to be mesmerized by the now and see the end as the only meaningful reality. It helps unclutter the mind and, for a brief moment, life is kept simple. But, ultimately, there is a tremendous cost.
Many of us will witness a quick glimpse, for better or worse, of our own future. Long-term relationships, parent/child dynamics and complicated family decisions will most likely be the areas of concern. Some, however, may feel this manifest in the areas of past life knowledge, dramatic romantic changes or the emotional significance of childhood events.
How did this all begin? What is the essential message of this experience? Where is all this going? It is important that we witness the cyclical nature of life's message. And, from a spiritual perspective, it is absolutely vital that we complete the circle.
And so, many of us will unearth a great personal insight and, begin to appreciate the unique relationship between beginnings and endings. The world, or the end result, will soon change and the meaning of those changes, or the original intentions, will first be witnessed on an individual level. People will feel it before the world will see it.
And given the true nature of “chickens and eggs” those changing circumstances may be far more complicated and painful than anticipated. It's important, however, to remember the original intention of creation. Refuse to mistake discomfort for completion. For each chapter that closes, another begins.
Encouragement
If life were entirely devoid of hope, joy and
justice, all of us would soon lose heart. We keep on going because we know that
this is not the case. We are just as encouraged by the ups as we are
disappointed by the downs. Indeed, though we generally prefer to avoid keeping
a running tally, we are inclined to suspect that the good things outnumber the
bad, quite possibly by a considerable margin. On what is your optimism based?
Blind faith? Or wise experience? Trust what inspires you the most.
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