Internet Dating And Pubs

Firstly I would just like to state that in this post please be advised that these are MY views, MY feelings and MY thoughts as to how I FEEL about Internet Dating and Pubs.  Ok, so let me begin. On the weekend I was considering going onto an Internet Dating Site. The last time that I had a couple of accounts was in 2010/2011 and that was my first attempt at Internet dating. It did not work for me at that time. So this weekend I thought maybe I should try again. I went and had a look at the few sites that I had been on. There are some that I do not like very much as they do not open their portals outside of South African borders, one of which is Badoo. This is an issue for me. Why you may ask? When you have 51million inhabitants in South Africa of which only 3 million are white, well that is a problem for me. It is a problem for me as I am not the type of person who believes in cross cultural relationships. My father was German and my mother was of Polish descent. Even though I was born in South Africa I was raised with European principles, morals and values. I tend to look for a relationship with someone with the same kind of principles, morals and values which basically comes down to finding someone from European descent and not South African descent. I had a look at Dating Buzz and MSN Dating, Match.Com, Lava Place and Connecting Singles. Actually out of all of them the one that I really did like at the time when I tried online dating was Connecting Singles – it is the ONLY one that I have come across that really is free and it has so many nice extras that one can use too and is an International site. In any event I decided to first have a look and did a search of the “potential matches” on these sites before deciding if I would register. While browsing these sites I happened to come across quite a few profiles of guys that I recall being on in 2010/2011. This immediately got my attention and got me thinking about Internet Dating. I made the decision that I would NOT register on any Internet Dating Site. I was thinking that Internet Dating has in fact become something that is really quite harmful to people in the long run. Why do I say that? Well, let me start with the guys that are still on these sites after all these years. I believe that these guys will never find THE ONE at the end of the day because they have in fact become spoilt for choice. Think about it logically. You go and you create a profile. You post your pic and give a spiel about who you are and what your likes are. Then you sit back and wait for your matches. Next thing you see you have had, let’s say for example 100 likes/new friends/favourites/matches – whatever the site chooses as options and let’s say 400 views. You are only human and realistically you are going to feel good about yourself. Now it comes to chatting to the 100 favourites and somewhere along the line you set up to meet. Let’s now say this guy meets 20 of his favourites. How on earth does he now choose because each and every one of these individuals is unique in their own way. Let’s say out of the 20 there are 5 that there really is absolutely no chemistry with at all or they are just some nut job!! That leaves this guy with 15 women!! So now what stops this guy from dating Mandy on Monday night. Carol on Tuesday night. Lucille on Wednesday night. Mary on Thursday night and Lara on Friday night and perhaps Tracy on Saturday night. Sunday he recuperates and comes the new week he starts all over again with the next lot and back at the ranch he tells Mandy, Carol, Lucille, Mary, Lara and Tracy some bullshit story that he is hectically busy at work and will see them the next week on whichever day he now chooses!! Let’s be real here and say that out of all these 15 girls that he is now “dating” that 8 of them put themselves out there – with this I mean they are easy girls. He gets to kick off his rocks with 8 of these girls whenever he feels like it – so why would he now want to date only 1 girl when he can have his fun with 8 of them? See my point? In plain and simple terms one would label this kind of guy a Player!!  The same goes for some women out there. I am not saying every one of them is easy but hey, sadly and realistically there are those out there who jump in the sack with every Tom, Dick and Harry! And each of those women are also playing the same game as those guys. Those women are also bullshitting the guys that they have gone out with. It was this thought that made me decide not to register on any Internet Dating Site. I don’t want to end up with a Player that has hundreds of other women at his beck and call. Never mind the STD’s!! The other issue is the bullshit that SOME of these guys put on their profiles. Some are really quite laughable. The profile heading will say for example, Jack Smith, 50 year old from Texas and then in his spiel he will say “Hi my name is Jack. I am a 62 year old male from Texas” Really?? Dude there is a huge difference between 50 and 62!! Then there are other’s who have so many different profiles with different names but they have the same profile pic. Again I say “Really??” Do you think I was born under a chicken or what?? I don’t know – maybe there are some women out there who are really that stupid not to see what is actually staring them in the face. I am also assuming that these guys with all the different profiles do so in order to build up their Ego, if I may call it that. Realistically what happens over time is that you find that because your profile has been on the site for so long that you lose views. So what do they do? They create another profile to gain new favourites and new views because some women out there think that this is a new member. I am now quite relieved that I did not register on any site as I now realise that I really am not interested in putting myself through all of that bullshit. I will rather retain my self respect for myself and develop an actual relationship in the real world with a guy who has respect for himself and for me, someone who still believes in morals and values, someone who still believes in true love!! In conclusion, I think if you are ONLY looking to chat to people and not date, then by all means go for Internet dating as there are all sorts out there that will amuse you to no end.  So now where does one meet a kindred soul to actually date? At the Pub perhaps? This is also a good question. Could you really meet someone “nice” in a pub? Hmmmmmm. From my experience on this scene again I would have to say not likely either. I on the rare occasion do go out to Pubs with my friends to see what is out there. But that is what it boils down to – just to go and have a look and nothing more. I have to say though that yes, in the past I have met some fairly nice guys at the pub but certainly not dating material. It was nice to just meet the regular guys, have a chat and a beer and then you each go your separate ways after the beer and see each other again the next time you went to that Pub again. But now a days to actually find someone to date in a pub. No. Here I would say it comes down to the same scenario as with Internet dating. There are just so many bull shitters out there and if they are not bull shitters then they are alcoholics or drug addicts. The world we live in right now really is quite frightening! My friends and I also insist that if a guy is going to buy us a drink that the waiter brings our drinks to the table and opens them in front of us. These days you just cannot trust anyone! There have been so many cases where a guy buys a drink for a girl and then at the bar when no one is looking he slips Rohypnol into her drink. When she finally comes around she finds that she was raped by the bastard.  Then on top of that you get these women that are just so easy and you kind of just look at these women and you have to ask yourself “What is wrong with you woman?” “Are you really that stupid? Or are you really that desperate?” About two weeks ago my friends and I were at the Baron. We got a table out on the balcony and sat there watching this one woman about two tables away from us. She had this long sun dress on. Clearly no underwear and she clearly had one too many already. She first stood at the table dancing and swaying to the music and kept lifting her dress up higher and higher, eventually she was on top of the table. One of the guys at the table then pulled her off the table and started dancing with her. His hands all over her. Eventually it was really getting quite ridiculous. They were smooching much better. A guy from one of the other tables opposite us eventually said “For Fuck sakes go get a room!”. We all laughed at the pun which I don’t think he originally intended. Anyway these two then disappeared for a while. Lord only knows where they went as there is no hotel in close proximity to the Baron. My guess is probably the car. It was not long the next thing here this woman comes back again minus the man. He obviously got what he wanted and probably went home. Next thing here she starts her antics again and blow me down with a feather, she has the next dude feeling her up! I just could not believe what I was seeing! You know what? There is a time and a place for everything but honestly to make yourself so cheap! What can I say? Each to his/her own. Whatever shakes your milkshake!! If that makes you happy then kudos to you. I personally just find that so cheap. So to end off – after all of that, I guess I will remain single a good while longer!!  The Universe will bring me someone when the time is right and in the right place. Perhaps in the supermarket? Lol!