I Need To Know

I feel I am going to regret you...letting myself fall for you. My mind is constantly racing with unfinished thoughts of you filled with both love and uncertainty. I think I might be trapped somewhere in the middle of loving you with my mind or my heart...The uncertainty you leave me with clouds my thoughts with everything I do throughout the day and I can't silence them. I wish I could look into your eyes more intensely...I might be able to see truth or deceit in them, but I don't think it's so black and white with you...Your emotions push and pull inside of you just as mine do, but if I could see what exactly is controlling their direction, I'd be okay. Maybe I missed something...Maybe you've already shown me the answers I need and my heart is too stubborn to accept them. I do know I cannot keep silent anymore. Any crack I see in you, I'll explore. I have to...I need to know.

Where's Your Fire

I used to extinguish under the weight of living, but one day, I reached into my chest, dusted off my courage, and asked myself, "Where's your fire?".

Wounds

We are not meant to stay wounded. We are supposed to move through our tragedies and challenges and to help each other move through the many painful episodes of our lives. By remaining stuck in the power of our wounds, we block our transformation. We overlook the greater gifts inherent in our wounds, the strength to overcome them and the lessons we are meant to receive through them. Wounds are the means through which we enter the hearts of other people. They are meant to teach us to become compassionate and wise.

The Things I Love

I love the first sip of coffee in the morning.

I love seeing the sun rise and the sun set.

I love a full moon and starry night.

I love sleeping in on a Sunday morning.

I love the smell of a freshly mown lawn.

I love the clean, fresh smell after a rain shower.

I love the stubble of beard on a man's face.

I love the feeling a good song evokes.

I love reading someone else's words and finding a connection in them.

I love getting lost in a good book.

I love sitting at a coffee shop just people watching.

I love the ocean and the feel of the fine sand between my toes....and those are just a few things that I love.

I Will Always Care

I will always be there for anyone who needs me. I will always be a helping hand or listening ear, because I know what it's like to believe that no one cares. I know what it's like to feel alone, suffocated in your own thoughts. I know how just one person can change someone's life. I am here for anyone who needs me, just to prove that compassion still exists. I am here for you.

Inner Voice

Is instinct really a wonderful thing? That depends on who you are and what you believe. An intellectual might not agree at all. The brain has little interest in intuition. It thinks that all problems can be solved by logic - and those which are solved in any other way are solved purely by coincidence. Coincidence is fluke and as such it cannot be trusted. However, if in your emotional life now, you are hearing a soft, yet strong, whisper of advice from within. Don't try to explain or justify it. Just trust it. Your inner-voice is wiser than you know.

Believe In Me

Forgive Me

I Meant To Tell You

I meant to tell you the moon is still silver.

It still rises same as it used to rise,

shedding light onto cities and lands,

softened by the coming of night.

I meant to tell you that I still gaze upward,

same as when you were here, that in the stillest of hours

while carrying a heart 

as wide as the sea,

if I soak in that moon,

it may bring some relief.

What I Have Learnt

If I have learnt anything from life, it's that sometimes the darkest times can bring us to the brightest places. I've learnt that the most toxic people can teach us the most important lessons, that our most painful struggles can grant us the most necessary growth, and that the most heartbreaking losses of friendship and love can make room for the most wonderful people. I've learnt that what seems like a curse in the moment can actually be a blessing, and that what seems to be the end of the road is actually just the discovery that we are meant to travel down a different path. I've learnt that no matter how difficult things seem, there is always hope. I've learnt that no matter how powerless we feel or how horrible things seem, we can't give up. We have to keep going. Even when it is scary, even when all of our strength seems gone, we have to pick ourselves up and keep moving forward, because whatever we are battling in the moment, it will pass, and we will make it through. We have made it this far. We can make it through whatever comes next. 

Stick With The Devil You Know

Be glad of the most irritating person in your world. He or she may be a pain..but nature abhors a vacuum. If you get rid of this aggravating character, you will create a space for someone new to fill the role. Who knows what a nuisance that replacement could turn out to be? As with people, so with circumstances. There are advantages now, to sticking with the devil you know. There are advantages too, to sticking with the situation you are already caught up in. Don't jump from a frying pan into a fire. Jump higher, further!

Key - Padlock And Chains

We say one thing when all too often we mean another. Then we wonder why nobody understands us - or, how is it that close communication has grown so convoluted? We claim to want freedom yet we weave, with our every word and deed, a web of heavy chains. In your hand now you hold a key. It opens the padlock that is binding you to a worry or a woe. Do you really intend to use it, turn it and thus begin a process of liberation? Then why do you keep letting it slip from between your fingers? Be honest today.

Holding A Grudge

There are many people out there who hold a grudge against someone. Someone did or said something that did not go down very well and often times the other person does not even know about the grudge.  Holding a grudge is the act of hanging on to intense anger or dislike for others based on a real or perceived wrongdoing.

Holding a grudge is a no win situation. There is no winner, only a loser. I have dealt with a person who has held on to a grudge and for way too long. I am now done with that. This situation is no longer conducive for me. This person can be as stubborn as they want, but they are going to lose. I have done what I could to make things right. I really tried my best to mend fences. I am now going to put an end to this. There will be no going back to this. It is time to move on with my life. The ghosts of the past are better left in the past. If they want to carry around a grudge for the rest of their lives, well then that is their business. If they want to resent me for the rest of their life, then so be it. 

People who hang on to grudges and hold on to negativity that way need to see that the only person it hurts is the person holding on to the grudge. I am guilty of holding onto grudges in the past. I certainly did so often when I was younger, but now that I am older I have learnt to let that go. That was another one of my lessons that I had to learn. Holding resentments and constantly being after revenge only hurt me in the long run. Sometimes it was over the most trivial thing! Some silly thing that was taken the wrong way, or someone's perception was just way off or some misunderstanding and things kind of just snow balled from there. When I now look back on those things from a bigger perspective they were all just such trivial things. Which is where we all ultimately end up looking at things when we are done with our lessons here on Earth. Say for example we are on our death bed, and we think about how we did not speak to a person for so many years just because of some stupidity.  When you are really faced with a challenge in life, that is when you can really get some perspective on things like this. You realise that it would be silly not speaking to someone who is important to you, and to lose a relationship with all the good stuff over some idiocy or over you being stubborn. For those hanging on to a grudge, perhaps it is time to think about that. Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for happiness, health and peace. As you let go of grudges, you'll no longer define your life by how you've been hurt. You might even find compassion and understanding.

“Let today be the day you finally release yourself from the imprisonment of past grudges and anger. Simplify your life. Let go of the poisonous past and live the abundantly beautiful present...today.”
― Steve Maraboli

Different Views

Not so long ago there was all that internet chatter about the blue dress that might have been a cream dress. It makes me wonder whether any of us see the world in the same way as others see it. We take a lot for granted and it may be healthy, once in a while, to question the apparently obvious and to look for possible dissent, even in areas of expected agreement. Recent events have left me wondering about my own view of a sensitive situation. Just how far from someone else's view is this?