Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Holding A Grudge

There are many people out there who hold a grudge against someone. Someone did or said something that did not go down very well and often times the other person does not even know about the grudge.  Holding a grudge is the act of hanging on to intense anger or dislike for others based on a real or perceived wrongdoing.

Holding a grudge is a no win situation. There is no winner, only a loser. I have dealt with a person who has held on to a grudge and for way too long. I am now done with that. This situation is no longer conducive for me. This person can be as stubborn as they want, but they are going to lose. I have done what I could to make things right. I really tried my best to mend fences. I am now going to put an end to this. There will be no going back to this. It is time to move on with my life. The ghosts of the past are better left in the past. If they want to carry around a grudge for the rest of their lives, well then that is their business. If they want to resent me for the rest of their life, then so be it. 

People who hang on to grudges and hold on to negativity that way need to see that the only person it hurts is the person holding on to the grudge. I am guilty of holding onto grudges in the past. I certainly did so often when I was younger, but now that I am older I have learnt to let that go. That was another one of my lessons that I had to learn. Holding resentments and constantly being after revenge only hurt me in the long run. Sometimes it was over the most trivial thing! Some silly thing that was taken the wrong way, or someone's perception was just way off or some misunderstanding and things kind of just snow balled from there. When I now look back on those things from a bigger perspective they were all just such trivial things. Which is where we all ultimately end up looking at things when we are done with our lessons here on Earth. Say for example we are on our death bed, and we think about how we did not speak to a person for so many years just because of some stupidity.  When you are really faced with a challenge in life, that is when you can really get some perspective on things like this. You realise that it would be silly not speaking to someone who is important to you, and to lose a relationship with all the good stuff over some idiocy or over you being stubborn. For those hanging on to a grudge, perhaps it is time to think about that. Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for happiness, health and peace. As you let go of grudges, you'll no longer define your life by how you've been hurt. You might even find compassion and understanding.

“Let today be the day you finally release yourself from the imprisonment of past grudges and anger. Simplify your life. Let go of the poisonous past and live the abundantly beautiful present...today.”
― Steve Maraboli



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