Fall In Love When You Are Ready, Not When You’re Lonely.

I find it very interesting to see the quotes that people post. Interesting in that the quotes are generally from people who are desperately looking for love. This makes the quote "Fall In Love When You Are Ready, Not When You're Lonely" quite ironic for those that post them.

I give here my personal opinion.

Most people that post a quote like this are the one's that are very lonely! Most of these people are the one's who will jump from relationship to relationship. It astounds me how sometimes I see even my own friends end a relationship and not even two days later they are already in the next relationship! Completely beyond me as to how that is truly possible but certainly does not surprise me when that relationship also collapses.

The thing is there is a huge difference between being ALONE and being LONELY. Those that take the time to be ALONE are the one's who take the time to heal from a broken relationship. It is in that time that they "find" themselves and take back their power. Those that CAN be ALONE in their own company are mostly the one's who learn to love themselves first and it is these people who, when eventually they do go into a relationship, are there for the long haul because they have learnt that they do not HAVE to rely on someone or even that they HAVE to have someone to feel complete. They appreciate the person they get involved with much more. The relationship is much stronger because each person is an individual living their own life but in true companionship. The relationship inevitably has all the right components to build a firm foundation.

I have been ALONE for quite some time but I am certainly not LONELY. I have my friends and sisters that I can hang out with and there are days where I do not feel like company and quite happily be ALONE doing my own thing like pottering around in the garden, reading a book or just sitting and thoroughly enjoying listening to music. I can also quite easily take my Golf Clubs and go to the club to drive some golf balls on the driving range. Going to a coffee shop and doing some people watching. I DON'T HAVE to have someone with me just to make me feel whole.

The thing is sometimes you can be in a relationship and still feel LONELY. I was always lonely in my marriage, not as a mother but as a wife. I was almost never alone but was always lonely. Being lonely is that kind of aching that resonates in your chest. That dull, constant feeling that follows you around all day long. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing or whom you’re with, it’s impossible to shake that feeling. Typically, these feelings are most prominent after recently losing that person who made your world a little brighter. Loneliness makes you wonder why. Why you? Why can’t you catch a break, why haven’t you had a simple stroke of luck? Loneliness is that prominent, gaping hole in your life that just can’t seem to be filled regardless of what you do. Loneliness is the 3am thoughts that haunt your dreams. Loneliness is that song on the radio that you have to turn off the second it comes on. Yes, I can relate to that. I was there as I am also only human!

Being ALONE is a different situation completely. Being alone is a state of being. When you’re alone you’re forced to realise all the things you don’t have, sure, but you’re also forced to realise all the things about yourself that you couldn’t when you spent your days memorising someone else. Being alone is taking the time to really think about what you want from someone the next time around, as I mentioned above, because you are going to do everything in your power that you never suffer from that loneliness again. Being alone is sitting under a tree for an afternoon and reading a book, and enjoying every single minute of it. Being alone is doing things by yourself, but also doing them for YOURSELF.

Of course, there are those times when being alone crosses paths with being lonely. It’s those times that you’re shopping for a new dress by yourself and you can’t help but notice that couple on the corner of the street. Their happiness radiates, and you remember the days when that used to be you. For a brief moment that dull feeling aches in your chest, but it doesn’t stay.

Being alone can be the most empowering experience of your life. If you let the loneliness consume you, you’re going to lose that rare chance to figure yourself out. You can always find company in yourself. Loneliness is going to try to force you to find that company with another person. Everyone has a place in the world though, and your's shouldn’t be with someone else just to escape the feeling of being lonely.