Friday, July 29, 2011
What do we want from each other? What do any of us want from any of the rest of us? Affirmation? Confirmation? Information? What do we look for in our relationships? What do we aspire to provide? What do we hope to be supplied with? These are not easy questions to ask and we can all dedicate a lifetime to answering them. We all do!
What's the relationship between pain and pleasure? Is it really like the link between sorrow and joy? Are the two just different sides of a coin? Does one sort of turn into the other from time to time? Or is it possible to have pleasure without pain, ecstasy without agony or happiness without sadness? It may well be. When we are having these experiences, we feel as if we are in a state that we can never get out of. If something hurts now, it can soon stop hurting. Yet if something is good, it need not turn bad.
Doubt, unfortunately, has a way of defining our lives. Should I be earning more money? Is my job secure? Will my family stay together? Why haven't I found love? All important questions, but, they may not be the right ones to ask. The more meaningful questions, the ones that lead to permanent change may need to be asked more urgently and at a deeper level.
Questions at a deeper level offer a rare opportunity to see clearly to the heart of a deeply felt personal limitation. Identifying the origins of doubt can be tricky. But, if we are to evolve, it is an extremely important one. Most will experience several unexpected glimpses illuminating the very beginnings of a difficult issue. And some of these quick revelations, ironically, may not be as obvious as anticipated.
Specifically look out for moments that reveal the hidden power dynamic between important people in your life or, in some cases, the underlying ego needs of past friends, relatives or loved ones. Who does it benefit that I feel this way? Who feels stronger when I feel weak? These are the answers that will lead to meaningful change.
Patterns create patterns, which create patterns…Just like waves. The tricky part is identifying the right pattern - the one that encourages grace, empowerment and healthy expression - and riding it to safety. Don't let someone else's private agenda build an unworkable theme into your life. It just isn't worth it!
Friday, July 15, 2011
People are right to say, "When you laugh, the world laughs with you." But they are wrong to say that, "When you cry you cry alone". This may once have been true, but today emotional empathy is all the rage. If you say you are even remotely unhappy a queue of would-be therapists will form outside your door. Everyone wants to practise their healing skills! If you've got a molehill that looks like a mountain….wait a while and it will shrink before your eyes!
Nobody is entirely without shame or blame. We all have skeletons of some sort in our closets. We are not obliged to take these out and wave them around, but every so often, we do need to take a private look at whatever it is we are hoping the world will look away from. If we don't, we may start to tie ourselves up in a web of self-deception or develop psychological 'blind spots' that lead us to repeat dangerous old mistakes.