Monday, October 2, 2017

Relationship Expectations

I happened to notice one of my friends' status posts on FB.

He had posted the following as his status

"I want someone who won't get tired of me, who won't get bored of me, who won't give up on me".

I sat and thought about his comment for a short while. I thought why would he post that? Has he perhaps broken up with someone? Is he perhaps looking for a relationship and this is what he wants out of the relationship? Did someone give up on him? Then I thought that I actually know so many people who tell me what they expect from a relationship. In some cases I have thought to myself that it is all about what THEY want. They are not thinking about the other person and what that person would want. So, I took the liberty of responding to Mahmoud's comment with the following as this is my take on a relationship. This is what I would expect from a relationship and this is what I would bring to a relationship. My response to Mahmoud Ben Mohsen below:

I noticed your comment. If you have a relationship where both parties give equally in terms of affection, attention, fun, laughter, compromise, trust, respect, support, encouragement and communication (just to name a few) then there will be no need for your partner to get tired of you, or get bored of you and who won't give up on you. Most relationships are not smooth sailing, inevitably there will be bumps in the road and that is when communication is key. If a relationship is one sided where only your partner gives to the relationship and does not receive anything back, then it is only logical that that person will walk away as they will feel unfullfilled in the relationship. I hope you find the one who will make an effort in your relationship that will lead to many happy moments.

Strange how this rings so true and is even relevant to me. I am so tired of being treated like, excuse the language, shit. I have had enough of people taking me for granted and just walking all over me. Tired of certain people knowing that when they need help with something I will be there for them. I am so tired of always being the one giving to the relationship and not getting anything back. I am tired of reaching out to people to make amends. I guess that is what you get for being the "nice" girl. Perhaps I should become a real bitch. It seems that is what guys like. Could I become a bitch just to land up with a guy? No, I don't think so. Could I become a bitch and refuse to help someone? No. I couldn't do that. It is not in my nature. I would be riddled with guilt. I do however on occasion say "no, I cannot help you" if I really, really can't. As for changing just to be in a relationship with someone...Why must I change to suit someone else? For what? I am me. I am unique...hahaha...I have my quirks...I am me and I am happy with me!! I have now gotten to a point in my life where I take things with a pinch of salt. Whatever happens, happens but, I have also gotten to a point where I will no longer be walked all over. This is the first chapter in the new story to my life. I am not writing an ending...I AM writing a new beginning to my story.

It's time (referring to my post of 1 September 2017). "She will shake your shoulders gently and remind you that you’ve done your bit. You’ve given too much, cared too much, you’ve suffered too much. You’ve bought the book as it were and worn the t-shirt. Worse, you’ve worn the chains and carried the weight of a burden far too heavy for your shoulders". That is fact, for those who know me will certainly agree and give testimony to that.

“It’s time” she will say. “Let it go, really let it go and feel the freedom of the fresh, clean spaces within you. Fill them with discovery, love and laughter. Fill yourself so full you will no longer fear what is ahead and instead you will greet each day with the excitement of a child.”

I am striving to be a better version of me.

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