I found myself looking at situations in life through eyes that were perhaps not mine. I know, that sounds kind of creepy or weird but that is the best way that I could find to say what it is I want to say.
I looked at people in my life, people around me in general and at myself. It became very clear to me that we are all programmed either by society, by communities, by family and friends to be a certain way and to do certain things. Or we believe we have to be a certain way to accomplish whatever it is that we wish to achieve in our lives to meet the approval of someone important in our lives. For example you have parents that possibly drum it into you that you have to become a lawyer or doctor or whatever to make it in life in order to have what ever type of security or stability is required. It could be that perhaps you are a guy and you feel that you will only be worthy of having a relationship by first having to build this nest egg before you can propose to the woman you have set your heart on because your belief is that that is what she would want from you. You could be a woman who feels that you are only worthy of love once you lose 20 kilograms. It could be that, no matter who you are, that you will not be worthy until you have achieved whatever it is that you set, or someone else set, for you as a goal. Or you could be trying to live up to the expectation of what you heard someone say, or what they did. You will only be worthy when you have x amount of money in the bank. You will only be worthy once you have paid off your credit card. You will only be worthy once....fill in the blanks. Perhaps you did decide to study to become a lawyer or a doctor or whatever it is that you started. It was your passion when you started it but after a while you realise that it is just so hard and so overwhelming that you think you will never reach your goal. Perhaps you are acting on what someone said to prove that you can do something of value. You are trying to live up to someone else's expectations or your own expectations, whichever it is, these are perceived expectations. These expectations are sometimes so high that it feels like it becomes a burden. It is a heavy load that you are carrying. It's like you don't know which way anymore. Instead of letting it go with the flow of things, you went with it in an unpractical way. Almost like you wonder if it is all worth it anymore. You need to figure out why you were in it in the first place. It could be that some outside perception was put into this thing that was supposed to be your passion and now its just become a burden. Take a step back. Unburden yourself. You can take that magic wand and turn it into a passion again by doing whatever it is you are doing by letting go of how everyone else expects it to be. You don't have to do it like everyone expects. You can do it the way that you want it done. Don't get caught up in how your family or society or whoever expects things to be. Don't ever doubt yourself either. Don't doubt that you will achieve your goal. You have to let go of that. Let go of anything that anyone has perhaps said or something you may have heard that makes you believe you are not worthy. If you are a guy and you believe you are not worthy of a woman or perhaps of a shared dream that you have talked about with someone or you are not worthy and deserving of your hearts desires, whatever they may be. Don't hold back and don't let there be any expectation of you in the future. You don't have to build that nest egg for the woman that you love just to be worthy, you don't have to save up to have a fat bank balance just to prove you are worthy. You are worthy right now! Just allow that to take the pressure off. Let go of the burden. Whatever your vision is of what the the future needs to look like, whatever version you have of it, just put it down. If we go back to the example of building a nest egg. Whatever project/career you are working on, it should not become a burden for you. If you are building a nest egg, why do it alone? If it was me that someone was building something for, gosh, I wouldn't want to be invited in when everything is done! I would want to be there from the start. From when the seeds are planted in the soil. I would want to be there to give support and encouragement and to see that goal,dream, project, house, business - whatever it may be, grow. Why wait until the time is right just to feel worthy? Inevitably you will find yourself always focussing on the next thing, and the next thing and the next that you end up not appreciating THE THING you have right now. Life is so short. Focus on the moment you've got. You made a decision to build a business. You made a decision to make your dreams come true. You don't want to look back and say "look what I was able to accomplish" just to feel worthy. You want to look back and say "look what I was able to accomplish" with appreciation and with pride for yourself and if you had someone by your side, to be appreciative that they were there to support your endeavours. Before you know it, life is gone and you did not appreciate THE thing you were living in. Sure success in whatever is not easy, but it is simple. What I am trying to say is, everything you do, counts. Every moment counts. Everything you do and how you do it matters. The journey is important and every step counts. If you can value and appreciate all the things you are doing now, whatever you are in, in the middle right now, it adds so much more texture to where you are going. It will mean something! It has value when you accomplish your goals. You accomplish your goals because you so appreciate what you had to go through to get there. LIVE in that moment . Be present for yourself. You have one shot, one path through this world. Make it count! If you are nervous, scared, anxious today, revel in it today! It's ok! It's not the end of the world. Every step you take will take you closer to where you want to go. Just savour every breath and every moment. This is an incredible journey, live in it, enjoy it and embrace it. Live that! If you believe you are not worthy of whatever is applicable to you. Don't! You ARE worthy! You are deserving! Understand and accept that you have everything you need. Nothing comes from outside in terms of fulfillment. Just be. There is no longer the past tense or the future. Just be in the now. The present tense. THIS moment. This will create a blank slate for you. You need to understand that there are no past mistakes and there are no future expectations from you, anybody or anything. Your perceptions of what you think someone expects from you are keeping you from stepping into this. Recognise that every breath is a new beginning with no mistakes in it. Allow yourself to love yourself and forgive yourself. Understand that you are worthy of love. LOVE what you do. LOVE those within your life. Express LOVE in your works. And most importantly, LOVE yourself by taking good care of yourself and being compassionate toward yourself.
The moment I let go of the things that I felt I was not worthy of, yes I had quite a few! Everything changed. I have forgiven myself for all my mistakes and I have forgiven others. I let go of the expectations that I had set for myself and the expectations that I was trying to live up to, to just feel worthy. A peace fell over me that I have never felt before. Like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and that is exactly the title of this post - I had let go of the burdens of my own self imposed expectations and the expectations that other's had placed on me! It is in that knowing that each moment is a new moment and each moment is all we have that I finally accepted that I am worthy!